A Graduation.
An Apartment.
A Marriage.

He gets it all. He has his partner and they are commited and i am stuck here alone feeling when she is right there. so right there that i could walk up the stairs and touch her. but if she is so right there then why wont I?

I want to be there with her. I want to be ready for the wedding that she promised me and the children and the good life. I want all of it.... but is there more to do before then? I want to get my happy ass out of this state for more than a couple of hours. I want to travel and be exposed to more than the underbelly of frigid WI. I want to be with her forever more, but i don't want to be stuck... not yet, this rut of life and a job and school and everything that is expected. I want to lash out at the world and GIVE them a reason to care. Something that i can do. uniquely mine. I want to give the world something to be proud of me for for once, or is this it? average citizen saving her pay check for mortgage? Do I ever get the happy ending? Do I get to save a life (metaphorically) I want to be that. I want to be a difference to someone. I want to do more then serve coffee and answer the phone "thank you for calling george webbs in west bend how may i help you?" HELP YOU!!!! I can't even help myself. I can't move from the couch. I can't think.



So a little mellowdramatic yes. just needed a rant.